'Like' this: Salutes to troops to flood Facebook feeds

Memorial Day is not just unforgettable: Thanks to Facebook it's also inescapable.

Salutes to troops past and present will be showing up every few seconds, this weekend, if the pace of posting is anything like Memorial Day 2011. Experts and everyday Facebook users say the social media Goliath has rearranged our thinking of how to mark this and every other holiday.

"The pressure is on to show you remember the birthday or national holiday, that you're not the bad friend or the bad daughter who forgot," says Sara Linton, 28, of Oakland.

Linton says she'll soon post an image of one of her most precious possessions, a framed letter from her grandfather, Ted Linton, to his wife, her grandmother Thora, on VJ Day in 1945.

"I'm proud we get to honor people and remember what they did," Linton says. "Posting something unique and real makes Facebook less superficial."

Vets and families of vets, we want you! Tweet us your memories, photos that show how military service has affected you: #uswarstories

Facebook holiday posts are a contagious phenomenon, encouraging users to mark every celebratory moment on line. "Likes" for Facebook's own flag-emblazoned Memorial Day page passed 102,000 by this week.

It's about the urge to be known, just like getting a tattoo or putting a bumper sticker on the car or running up the flag in front of the house on Monday, says Sam Gosling, a psychology professor at University of Texas, Austin, and author of Snoop: What your stuff says about you.

Sara Linton

Sara Linton plans to post to Facebook an image of one of her most precious possessions, a framed letter from her grandfather, Ted Linton, to his wife, her grandmother Thora, on VJ Day in 1945.

These are all "symbolic acts ? part of identity claiming, of saying to the world, 'This is who I am.' "

Ed Reiman presents his Facebook and Twitter identity as a husband, a grandfather and a retired businessman in Portland, Ore., and ? perhaps, most telling of all ? as a Vietnam Veteran who came home, crippled by post traumatic stress syndrome, on July 4, 1968.

Steve Barnhoorn

Steve Barnhoorn plans to post a picture of his great-grandfather Benjamin Pennington to Facebook over Memorial Day weekend.

Reiman, 65, tweeted at #USWarstories this week: "Was in Vietnam in the Army ? '67/'68 ? thru "Tet" ? survived ? think about it and friends I lost there everyday, but have lived well, raised a family ? have 'grands' ? and am now retired. I am blessed."

He has mixed feelings about the outpouring of Memorial Day posts on Facebook.

"I appreciate it. I think most folks are sincere. But I also think some people are trying to get rid of their own guilt for not speaking up sooner against the Vietnam War or for turning a cold shoulder to those veterans for 20 or 30 years," Reiman says.

He says he'll post this weekend on Facebook about "my pride in the people I knew and served beside."

Few Americans still mark the original way to celebrate Memorial Day with a visit to a veteran's grave. The Department of Veterans Affairs predicts more than 100,000 visitors to National Cemeteries this Monday, about the same as 2011. But there are 117 events for real time visits listed on the National Cemeteries Facebook Page, which has 3,389 likes.

Social media aren't necessarily to blame for the shift in observance. Given the mobile society, few people live near their own loved ones' graves any more.

" 'Local' is different now. Social media mean local is your computer, not your city," says Barbara Kemmis, executive director of the Cremation Association of North America.

So Steve Barnhoorn, 49, of Honeoye, N.Y, is a 'local' neighbor, one who invites you over to his place ? on Facebook ? to see his posts on veterans he reveres.

This weekend, watch for his post on his maternal great-grandfather Benjamin Pennington, who was "gassed in action" and wounded by enemy fire in World War I, and survived to be decorated with the Purple Heart.

Ever since Barnhoorn joined Facebook in 2009, he's posted for Veterans Day, and Pearl Harbor Day, Dec. 7, too. That's when he posts a photo of his great-grand-uncle Earl Frary, who was serving aboard the USS Vestal when the Japanese bombs rained down.

"The world should know about these great people. I get all kinds of positive comments back. People say, 'Wow, I didn't know you had that personal tie to history,' " Barnhoorn says.

For those who need help crafting creative forms of gratitude on Facebook holidays, fear not. There are apps for that. The site also offer 13 apps for showing appreciation for Father's Day, from Instagram-ing childhood photos of Pop, to a video I-love-you via Viddy.

For Memorial Day, those who don't have grandpa's World War II snapshots or inspiring letters can draw on free illustrations from sites such as Satisfaction.com. It features 10 choices from a red-white-and-blue eagle flapping its wings to a bikini-busting beauty straddling a tank gun barrel.

Facebook posts also remind folks that partying and shopping are almost holiday duties.

AllFacebook, an unofficial Facebook blog from Web Media Brands, noted just days before Memorial Day last year, posts mentioning the holiday were chiefly invitations to barbecues and parties or pitches to shop holiday sales.

Blogger Jackie Cohen observed, "Only the occasional post addresses the fact that the holiday honors those who've died in military service," and only 20% of Americans knew the original purpose of the day.

Facebook holiday mentions roughly double every year in posts by the 500 largest public branded corporate pages (the ones with the most Facebook fans), according to Socialbakers, a media analytics company.

In 2012, there was a 73% jump in branded pages that wished folks Happy Mother's Day. Of all the branded paged with posts on Facebook that day, about 25% made a holiday mention.

On Memorial Day 2011, roughly one in four of the 185 posts that day on commercially branded pages made mention of the holiday.

"We expect that this Memorial Day brands will be commenting on the holiday more than they ever have in the past," says Socialbakers' CEO Jan Rezab.

Yet, the old-fashioned way of celebrating with a greeting card is undiminished by the competition from social media, says Jaci Twidwell, a spokeswoman for Hallmark Cards.

The urge to share runs on parallel tracks. Even as holiday wishes soar on line, people are still exchanging cards at the rate of 13 million a day, Twidwell says.

"Electronic communications are better for sharing information, but greeting cards are better for sharing emotion," Twidwell says. "You can't put a Facebook post in the shoebox under your bed. It doesn't replace the pleasure of getting something tangible in the mailbox. What Facebook has done is give us more options."

Rest assured, on the word of Emily Post's great-great-granddaughter and etiquette authority Anna Post. She says there's nothing rude about posting holiday greetings, "as long as you spend time off line with the people who matter most."

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